The Dark Secrets of a Charismatic Pastor: Narcissistic Abuse and Manipulation

Abstract

Robert is a church boy, loving and charming, and is envied and cherished by girls. The church Bishop is constantly pushing him to get married since he wants to make him his assistant pastor. Nobody sees a fault in him. He sings, plays instruments, and is a prayerful man. But Robert is not what people think and know about him. He has a split personality and is a devil beneath. Robert is a narcissist. He is under pressure to get married; finally, he meets Cheryl. Cheryl is a naïve girl, 22 years and unable to read the character. She falls in love blindly and is not quick to notice Robert's flaws. Sometimes he passes something that shuns her down as a joke, likes violence and bad mouths every girl he had in the past. Cheryl thinks she is perfect before Robert's eyes and ignores those red flags. They get married through a colorful church wedding. Everyone is happy and contented but not with Robert. It all started on the wedding night; they never went for the honeymoon as scheduled. It began with abuse, manipulation, and disdain. It was a hell of a marriage. Chery was maimed, bruised, forced to submit and respect even in unworthy circumstances. She was cut off from friends and denied interaction, and she could not share it with anyone. Robert informed the church officials that he had married a devil and a monster, and she could not stand her. Cheryl was abused beyond recognition, beaten almost to death, and chased away with a baby. The totality of this story is severe abuse and abandonment. Robert was an icon, especially for the youth. Whenever they faced challenges, they had their youth pastor. He could solve youth problems, and everyone could heed his advice. He gave back to society and was outspoken and decent in public. Robert, as usually an apple of an eye, remarried. This time around, a girl from the same church they fellowshipped in. The girl was Carol. Carol was also naïve and fell quickly on the handsome Robert; they never courted for long and assumed they knew each other but did not know she was being duped. Robert complained how Cheryl has a long nose, a significant mark on her back, and a thin body. He did not have solid reasons for leaving Cheryl, his first wife, his arguments were baseless and stupid, but Carol did not bother to ask. A long nose and a thin body? How could you leave someone for such? They moved in this tie, not through a wedding but lived as couples. Carol was educated and financially independent compared to Robert, and Robert used his narcissistic techniques to pull down Carol to his beckon. He made Carol question her work and self-confidence. He manipulated and put her in debt, which left her devastated and traumatized. Emotional abuse was at its epitome, and sometimes he could tell her how ugly she was, and nobody could accept her, and it was through sympathy that they were in a relationship. He could hurt her intentionally and made her apologize, claiming that she provoked her to do so. Robert could go on crusades and fellowships and dedicated his life to the church, leaving his wife struggling to feed their kid and him when he came back. He...