Navigating Conflict in Marital Relationships: Lessons from Shallow Talks and Separate Spaces

Abstract

Instructor’s Name Inevitable conflict will arise to some degree in every marriage. Various researchers have researched the topic of marital health, making it a debatable subject in today’s society. The case Shallow talks and separate spaces deals with a relational conflict between a married couple Russel and Sarah, who never seem to get along due to their busy schedules. Marriage couples may have different opinions and views and sometimes get overwhelmed by emotions hurting each other, which is very detrimental to a marriage. Conflict does not bring coherence but creates separation. Conflict resolution is an essential aspect of maintaining a stable marriage. According to (Delatorre &Wagner, 2019), stability is associated with avoider, volatile, and validator relationships, which represent different ways of balancing the positive and negative aspects of the marital relationship. Conflict varies from different interests and life perceptions, which is what happened to Sarah and Russel. This essay will analyze the case of Shallow Talks and Separate spaces harnessing the various conflict goals, deducing conflict management styles, and identifying the destructive conflict behaviors in a relationship. Avoiding conflict in a marriage is an incredible goal. However, conflict emanates from incompatible goals. The case Shallow Talks and Separate Spaces conveys the presence of prospective, retrospective, and transactive. We can define perspective goals in relation to Russel and Sarah in that they have a common goal to make a successful marriage through mutual responsibility and collaboration. Sarah was to continue his education while married, and Russel diversified in golfing. Their goals end up shuttered due to mutual conflict arising from their busy schedules. Transactive goals in the conflict emerge when there in communication exchanges. Russel and Sarah conflict by hurting each other’s feelings and saying demeaning words towards each other. Russel sarcastically attacks Sarah for inherently focusing on her master’s degree and neglecting marriage responsibilities. At the same time, Sarah joke about his credibility as a graduate purporting that he is not intelligent and has not achieved anything substantial in his education. The conflict arises from the pride, and high self-esteem each has on themselves; ego cannot allow them to settle down. The aftermath of these goals is destruction and flaws in their marriage. They lost interpersonal communication. We see retrospective goals when Russel and Sarah return to their senses toward mutual understanding. Russel and Sarah knew they had hurt each other, but they kept it to themselves. After intervention from her sister, Sarah realized that there is no perfect marriage. They aired out their differences amicably and spiced up their marriage. Russell and Sarah reached their retrospective goals by speaking up and letting each other know their needs. They solve it by calming down and listening to each other. After talking to her sister, Sarah decided to find common ground for their conflict. From their apologies and talking, Russel and Sarah cared for each other; but they did not know how to resolve their conflict. Collaborative goals are essential in solving relational conflicts. Russel and Sarah let their conflict escalate into something big they could have easily solved themselves. In their busy schedules, they should have been taught how to enact their family responsibilities by doing house chores and listening to each other. Collaborative goals can be achieved through effective communication. Sarah was overworking, intensifying his feelings since she felt overburdened, balancing marriage and school life. Russel was busy with his job and golfing, which overwhelmed him. In this context, collaborative goals between Russel and Sarah entail prioritizing their marriage, mutual understanding of the goals, and protecting their marriage. Collaborative goals entail listening, communicating, and helping others toward common goals. Through these goals, Russel and Sarah could have managed their conflict productively. Conflict resolution is essential for marital health-related variables such as marriage quality and satisfaction (Delatorre &Wagner, 2019). Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann Conflict can be managed through resolution styles of Competing, Avoiding, Collaboration, Compromising, and Accommodating. Avoiding conflict is running away from an uncomfortable situation instead of confronting it. This type of conflict is dominant between Sarah and Russel. Each of them feels overwhelmed and burdened in the marriage but does not confront the situation by communicating it. As Sarah drives home, he expects his husband to have done house chores and made dinner. Russel was busy with work and could not make it home early. Sarah made dinner unwillingly, and Russel found it uncomfortable since they had had it frequently. She was tired, and so was Russel, and cooking shoddy meant she was avoiding conflict but later escalated it. Sarak and Russel were amused and went out by force instead to avoid more drama with his wife. Avoiding confrontation led to unhappy moments in their busy schedules affecting their marital health; compromising style entails meeting points despite extremes. Pride and high self-esteem control Russel and Sarah since both are extremists. They attack each other with hurtful words trying to bring each other down to feel contented. Compromising entails balancing a relationship's positive and negative concepts (Delatorre &Wagner, 2019). Russel was not convinced about eating pork chips consecutively. He asked Sarah to compromise the situation, but Sarah did not like the idea and burst out in anger, purporting that Russel considered her cooking awful and that it was not right to throw away food. Collaborating conflict management styles entails understanding the deep essential needs of each other; it cuts across strong emotions and individual demands toward a consensus. Sarah and Russel had their low moments of frustration and misunderstanding. They realized they were both overwhelmed by their busy schedules, encroaching on their marriage. The couple changed from avoiding conflict and started collaborating. They had to confront...