Navigating Gender Norms: Reflections of a Lone Daughter in a Family of Sons

Abstract

Only Daughter by Sandra Cisneros Introduction “Only Daughter” is an exciting article compiled by Sandra Cisneros describing how society perceived the girl child in early 1990. Narrating from her own lived experiences, Cisneros argues that being the only daughter in a family of six brothers proved a challenge. Contrary to her expectations, her brothers distanced her from even the basics like playing and mingling with her Mexican father during childhood, embracing the cultural stereotype that devalued girls compared to boys. Sandra knew and believed that she needed more care and motivation from her family as the only girl in that family. However, her family viewed her from two perspectives "as the only daughter" and "only as a daughter," which enhanced her future profession excellently. By being the only daughter, Sandra was forced by circumstance to remain alone, which allowed her to think, imagine, read and prepare herself to become a writer. On the other hand, being only a daughter implied that destiny would lead her to become a wife as his father believed. Based on such insights, this essay will reflect Cisneros's arguments to create a broader understanding of the intended text within the “Only Daughters” essay. Only Daughter is an inspiring narration that allows Cisneros to speak out her heart without fearing society's thinking of her in the long run. Before reading this essay, I had assumed that being the only different gender in a family of many similar genders would prove a privilege basing my assumptions on the privileges one would enjoy being the only girl in a family of many boys. For instance, I thought that being the only girl in a family of boys would come along with much love, care, and protection from the male gender as a sign of expressing appreciation to their only baby girl. However, based on Cisneros's text, contrary to my assumption, as the only daughter of six boys, Cisneros experienced rejection, loneliness, and being devalued for being a girl in a family and a community that believed in masculinity power. Cisneros argues that "Being an only daughter in a family of six sons forced me by circumstance to spend a lot of time by myself because my brothers felt it beneath them to play with a girl in public. But that aloneness, that loneliness, was good for a would-be- writer it allowed me time to think and think, to imagine, to read and prepare myself” (Cisneros, Pg 2). Regardless of the rejections that Cisneros felt from her family, she took the chance to prove the potentials vested in the female gender, which society ignored or never thought of by any chance. Cisneros, though hurt, utilized her lonely moments by shaping what her future turned out to be, which paved the way for a different perspective of viewing and gauging women. As Cisneros puts it, "Being an only daughter for my father meant my destiny would lead me to be someone's wife" as compared to my brothers, whom he urged to study hard and use their heads, not their hands through acquiring good jobs in the future (Cisneros, Pg 3). The father viewed Cisneros as a child whose potentials to become independent in the future remained hampered, thus expected her to associate herself with a male friend who, in the end, would become her husband and support her in the future. Cisneros felt left out at all instances, which gave her the guts to fight for her future and prove that women had the potentials and deserved to be valued just as the male gender. Before reading this article, I assumed that men would have viewed women as dependant on men during such eras, though I never thought that men would take women to school to source husbands from such institutions. On the contrary, I thought that women would be subjected to forced marriages at very young ages without having a chance to say in the husband-sourcing affair. However, based on Cisneros's experience, it is clear that her father though devalued women believed that the only way they could get a chance to mingle, interact and find a man interested in them was through school life. Such a belief led him to send Cisneros to college and graduate institutions. To his disappointment, after four years of college and two years of graduate school life, Cisneros comes back home without a husband...